Forget-Me-Nots in a Resin Orb by UralNature [x]
What a vicious circle: girls lose confidence, so they quit competing, thereby depriving themselves of one of the best ways to regain it. They leave school crammed full of interesting historical facts and elegant Spanish subjunctives, proud of their ability to study hard and get the best grades, and determined to please. But somewhere between the classroom and the cubicle, the rules change, and they don’t realize it. They slam into a work world that doesn’t reward them for perfect spelling and exquisite manners. The requirements for adult success are different, and their confidence takes a beating.
This article is my life.
“The Confidence Gap,” Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, The Atlantic
The older I get the more I find there is very little reward in the work world in being a “good girl” in the sense of not asserting your rights, not claiming your place, not stating when you know you are right for fear you might actually be wrong and then any fallout will be on you and you’ll prove to everyone what you’ve always suspected about yourself because you are a girl or someone will say you are fat or ugly which is related to nothing, always being cooperative, trying to be a team player and not the squeaky wheel, sitting nicely with your hands folded before recess like you did in third grade, etc.
I see over and over men in my profession ascend in part because they assume they deserve it and don’t worry about “how it will look” to claim a spot and not attempt to please every single person in their professional world. Sometimes when I’m doing career planning, I tell myself to “think like a man.” It’s so complicated. Gah.
*nods to everything Sara Zarr is saying*
I’ll never be able to be quiet enough, able to act dumb and smile enough, to please people. It doesn’t work. The fact I ever tried showed I was caught in a trap.
Nowadays it’s different. Of course occasionally this means I turn into Streetfighter Sarah, yelling ‘Yeah? Yeah? Come say that to me again, I’ll bite off your nose and spit it down your throat!’ But on the whole I think it’s better.
Guys are promoted differently as it is, talked about differently, praised more and criticised less. We need to break out of promoting ourselves differently, more diffidently, as if we couldn’t possibly be worthy of attention.
Was anyone else a little bit disappointed that the kick ass Lady Counsel Member turned out to be Natasha? Still love Natasha, but for a few glorious seconds, it was awesome to see an older woman come out of nowhere to kick ass.
Oh hell yes. For one glorious moment this movie was going to be the utter best thing ever made. And then…. well it was still cool but such a disappointment we didn’t get unexpected kick ass over 40 woman.
Did we ever even find out what happened to the counsel member?
We, too, thought for a glorious moment that Captain America: The Winter Soldier was a movie where every female character was a secret badass.
Oh yes. Still cool, but not as cool as I thought it would be.
FAKE GEEK GUYS: A MESSAGE TO MEN ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT
By Andy Khouri
“I think this woman is wrong about something on the Internet. Clearly my best course of action is to threaten her with rape.”
That’s crazy talk, right? So why does it happen all the time?
Honest question, dudes.
That women are harassed online is not news. That women in comics and the broader fandom cultures are harassed online is not news. That these women are routinely transmitted anonymous messages describing graphic sexual violence perpetrated upon them for transgressions as grave as not liking a thing… that is actually news to me, and it’s probably news to a lot of you guys reading this.
So what do we do about it?
This is important.
Mama Fury on waking up the Avengers.
LOKI IS FUCKGN DUCT TAPED TO THE BED I SIMPLY CANNOT
I met my wife at a Star Trek convention. She was study abroad from France and spoke little English, and I didn’t know a lick of French. So, for the first few months of our relationship, we communicated by speaking Klingon.
Okay I’m not even a Star Trek fan but that’s beautiful.
Magpie playing with a puppy.
I just end up panicking and telling people weird untruths about my homeland.
LIBRARIAN: Hello I work in this library.
SARAH: I love libraries.
SARAH: In my land, we court people by throwing potatoes at their head. If someone hits you in the head with a potato, you have to get married.
SARAH: (whispers to self in agony) Why is ‘have you read any good books lately’ so hard to say?
If you said this to me at my library, my response would likely have been, “Okay, but would I have to marry the person who hit me with the potato or the person I’d been dating, assuming they aren’t the same?”
(And they wouldn’t be the same. I pride myself on dating only people with terrible aim when it comes to chucking root vegetables at my head.)
But that would be cool, because I’m terrible at talking to authors. I have a 100% record of meeting an author at a book signing, saying something horribly awkward, then running the other direction. Then reminding myself in the parking lot, “All you had to do was say, I really like your books and they make me laugh. GAH.”
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